Lucy Schwartz - Gravity [Official Music Video]
Tonight I discovered Lucy Schwartz. I couldn't help but notice how much we dance alike. I always look to see how free people are by watching their movements, how much they ~Flow~ it tells me a lot about how much convention, inhibitions and how many "shoulds" they have shaken off. :) I wish I could say that I sing and play piano like her, but I can't. Not to discredit my own singing voice, which has moments of brilliance.
Watching the movie Mother & Child (mostly watching, but some parts I admit were hitting too close to home, so I'd open up another window and check my email, FB or FaceBook page intermittently) I was struck by the theme song and had to see who sang it~ her voice was familiar with a Zoe Deschanel/Imogen Heap haunting, yet uplifting quality, turned out to be Lucy. Funny, because I recently met the most Lovely man who shares the same last name-- I always notice those synchronicities.
I cried on and off, throughout Mother & Child, there have only been a few times (maybe four) in my Life that I was so moved by a film... or that a film felt SO PERSONAL to me. Like someone stole my intellectual property-- wrote my movie before I had a chance to. This was one of those times.
The last time I was this moved by a picture, was when I watched Under The Tuscan Sun. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I cried the e n t i r e length of the movie, from credits to credits. All I know for sure is that there was a Heart opening happening for me, about giving up our designs for what Life is "supposed to" look like and about finding happiness when Love doesn't go how it should, not even for an attractive, eligible, wonderful woman. The other one that really stands out is when I saw AWAKENINGS. I don't fully understand that either, but I was devastated by it. Yes, the story is a devastating story, but it felt like it had to do with me on multiple levels. Yes, I had Encephalitis as a child, so perhaps I was watching a fate that I had narrowly escaped. But there was also this resonance, with the patients, of feeling trapped inside, not being able to free oneself, and not being seen, heard or understood by all those around, that cut me to the quick.
Mother & Child snuck up on me in the same way. Firstly, because I didn't expect it to be so GOOD. I didn't think the writing or acting would be so good and believable, which is necessary to have this amount of impact. If it was so good, why hadn't I heard anything about it? Usually people tell me "You need to see this. You should see this." Nope, not a hint.
Secondly, I didn't think the movie would mirror my own Life so much! The main character, Karen (played by Annette Bening) even looks like she could be a blood relative~ sister or even Mother~ and I have always compared my beauty to hers. When contemplating whether I felt beautiful or not, I would think, 'I have Annette Bening type of beauty.' Yes, Annette, my hazel-eyed sister and I share smallish features, petite nose, chestnut hair, similar worry-lines and the ability to emit tremendous light from our countenances in a moment of open-Heartedness.
In the movie, she plays a woman who has given up a baby girl for adoption and the tender age of 14, and gets emotionally stuck in that moment... unable to forgive herself or move on. She is bitter, unhappy, closed off and finds herself working in a healing industry and caring for her aging Mother. She continually wonders about the fate of the daughter whom she never met.
Both my sister and I were given up for adoption. Strange, but it did not occur to me until I was 31 that perhaps part of the reason that my Lovelife has been a disaster, was in part due to the fact that my Birth Mother's (who I don't know) was as well.
In the movie, Karen's daughter, Elizabeth (my birth name) isn't capable of forming attachments and moves from place to place and man to man. Not exactly my story, but similar enough to make me sit up and take notice. I married young (22) and overnight by dream romance turned into a hellish nightmare that I stuck out for 3 1/2 years. I left and he died of a massive, fatal Heart Attack before we could be divorced. Since then, I have not formed serious attachments and moved about 45 times in the last 15 years.
So, the question that kept arising as I watched this film was, "How do broken people become unbroken?" In a larger sense, I've devoted my entire Life to asking, and in part, answering that very question.
For those of you who will see the film, who haven't seen it yet, I don't want to reveal too much of the plot. I will say that we get to witness the convergence of events that lead to Karen's (Annette Bening) redemption, forgiveness, healing and Heart opening. Watching the pieces of the puzzle, the timing of these events is to me, watching God. Watching how God can work miracles in our Lives, when we are willing to just open up a bit & let go in those moments when magical convergence is happening... how quickly and monumentally Life can change.
I have seen it happen enough to know what it looks like. I've experienced it myself enough to KNOW it to be True. May all the broken Hearts out there find their day of reckoning, sooner than later.
Little One (sung by Lucy Schwartz)
Tonight I discovered Lucy Schwartz. I couldn't help but notice how much we dance alike. I always look to see how free people are by watching their movements, how much they ~Flow~ it tells me a lot about how much convention, inhibitions and how many "shoulds" they have shaken off. :) I wish I could say that I sing and play piano like her, but I can't. Not to discredit my own singing voice, which has moments of brilliance.
Watching the movie Mother & Child (mostly watching, but some parts I admit were hitting too close to home, so I'd open up another window and check my email, FB or FaceBook page intermittently) I was struck by the theme song and had to see who sang it~ her voice was familiar with a Zoe Deschanel/Imogen Heap haunting, yet uplifting quality, turned out to be Lucy. Funny, because I recently met the most Lovely man who shares the same last name-- I always notice those synchronicities.
I cried on and off, throughout Mother & Child, there have only been a few times (maybe four) in my Life that I was so moved by a film... or that a film felt SO PERSONAL to me. Like someone stole my intellectual property-- wrote my movie before I had a chance to. This was one of those times.
The last time I was this moved by a picture, was when I watched Under The Tuscan Sun. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I cried the e n t i r e length of the movie, from credits to credits. All I know for sure is that there was a Heart opening happening for me, about giving up our designs for what Life is "supposed to" look like and about finding happiness when Love doesn't go how it should, not even for an attractive, eligible, wonderful woman. The other one that really stands out is when I saw AWAKENINGS. I don't fully understand that either, but I was devastated by it. Yes, the story is a devastating story, but it felt like it had to do with me on multiple levels. Yes, I had Encephalitis as a child, so perhaps I was watching a fate that I had narrowly escaped. But there was also this resonance, with the patients, of feeling trapped inside, not being able to free oneself, and not being seen, heard or understood by all those around, that cut me to the quick.
Mother & Child snuck up on me in the same way. Firstly, because I didn't expect it to be so GOOD. I didn't think the writing or acting would be so good and believable, which is necessary to have this amount of impact. If it was so good, why hadn't I heard anything about it? Usually people tell me "You need to see this. You should see this." Nope, not a hint.
Secondly, I didn't think the movie would mirror my own Life so much! The main character, Karen (played by Annette Bening) even looks like she could be a blood relative~ sister or even Mother~ and I have always compared my beauty to hers. When contemplating whether I felt beautiful or not, I would think, 'I have Annette Bening type of beauty.' Yes, Annette, my hazel-eyed sister and I share smallish features, petite nose, chestnut hair, similar worry-lines and the ability to emit tremendous light from our countenances in a moment of open-Heartedness.
In the movie, she plays a woman who has given up a baby girl for adoption and the tender age of 14, and gets emotionally stuck in that moment... unable to forgive herself or move on. She is bitter, unhappy, closed off and finds herself working in a healing industry and caring for her aging Mother. She continually wonders about the fate of the daughter whom she never met.
Both my sister and I were given up for adoption. Strange, but it did not occur to me until I was 31 that perhaps part of the reason that my Lovelife has been a disaster, was in part due to the fact that my Birth Mother's (who I don't know) was as well.
In the movie, Karen's daughter, Elizabeth (my birth name) isn't capable of forming attachments and moves from place to place and man to man. Not exactly my story, but similar enough to make me sit up and take notice. I married young (22) and overnight by dream romance turned into a hellish nightmare that I stuck out for 3 1/2 years. I left and he died of a massive, fatal Heart Attack before we could be divorced. Since then, I have not formed serious attachments and moved about 45 times in the last 15 years.
So, the question that kept arising as I watched this film was, "How do broken people become unbroken?" In a larger sense, I've devoted my entire Life to asking, and in part, answering that very question.
For those of you who will see the film, who haven't seen it yet, I don't want to reveal too much of the plot. I will say that we get to witness the convergence of events that lead to Karen's (Annette Bening) redemption, forgiveness, healing and Heart opening. Watching the pieces of the puzzle, the timing of these events is to me, watching God. Watching how God can work miracles in our Lives, when we are willing to just open up a bit & let go in those moments when magical convergence is happening... how quickly and monumentally Life can change.
I have seen it happen enough to know what it looks like. I've experienced it myself enough to KNOW it to be True. May all the broken Hearts out there find their day of reckoning, sooner than later.
Little One (sung by Lucy Schwartz)
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