After The Crucifixion

On the Feast Day of The Magdalene -- Part One of Two

Time for this Healer to Heal Thyself.

I've got to clear myself before I can move ahead. I have known that there was something in me that had a sharp edge~~ an unwavering opinion, a righteous anger, a scrutinizing and heavy judgement... and it is time to go! 

I know that I have needed it until now to Know all that I Know, and to Do all that I have Done. I couldn't have recognized all of the pain and all of the twists of its manifestations that I have had to clear if I couldn't See it. To see it, I had to have something in me that was a mirror of it. I thank this energy for it's service until this point, and I shall release it to Christ Consciousness with blessings and gratitude. ♔✿

I don't yet know the specific nature of the energy that I am dealing with, but I feel that it has been here for a long time-- holding me back from my full and wholly Loving expression. I now have a sense of it. It has peaked and is making itself known to me. It is tinny and tight. I can feel it acutely, so it is time to clear it.

I've been getting messages the last few days about the time of Christ.✞ I observe at on-going junctures that my Journey this time is retracing the steps at that time again; this time with the knowledge that I can unwind the pain, forgiving the hurts and all that was lost. Forgiving everything that went wrong. I walk it knowing that it is time for nothing to remain but the Light, the Christ Consciousness, the Love. I walk it Knowing that this time is the completion of the Perfect Work that we started over 2000 years ago.

It took me a long time before I knew, that it wasn't supposed to go that way after the crucifixion~~ my Life in danger (while pregnant) me destitute, unsupported, cold, starving, slandered, maligned...
and the worst thing. The very worst thing that could have happened, happened. Trying to raise a daughter on nothing, the most beautiful, charmed, enchanting red headed 2 1/2 year old that anyone ever saw... three men took her from me (their intentions were not pure, and I could see it. And I was powerless to stop them). She was an Indigo and I didn't hear from her for 15 and a half years. I sensed that She was still alive, but sometimes I knew it more than others... there were times when I thought that I was just kidding myself.

When She was 18, She telepathically sent me a message and told me that She was Alive. That was all that She said. She was so angry at me, so hurt, She wanted nothing to do with me. I rejoiced in the knowledge that She Lived, and I mourned our fate, our separation. I despaired thinking of what all She might have endured.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. We had not set it up that way.  We were so powerful, so conscious in our Creation, so Aligned~~ how could everything had gone so horribly wrong???

It wasn't until in the last few years that I was shown the answer. There was a woman in town who wanted to be a part of our work, felt entitled to because of her spiritual power. She put a curse on my womb (in her jealousy) while we were working as a circle.  The curse affected all of the Essence Women who were there, as well as Christ (not as much).

I was not aware of the curse at that time, and in my ignorance and deepest hurt, anger and grief, I blamed Christ.  I blamed Him as an abandoner Husband and Father. And I blamed God. After my pure devotion and service and belief, THIS is how I was repaid???? 

After I found the curse and removed it, my Forgiveness began, and my relationship with The Christed One and God rapidly advanced, healed and brought a lot more joy & peace into my Life.

I have not revisited the time of Christ✞ since April, when I read half of The Jesus Papers.  It is finally time for me to Know & Re-member the Rest of the Story.

Where I left off, Joseph of Arimathea was making arrangements with Pontius Pilot to rescue Jeshua. Joseph's brilliant plan was to allow the Roman's their public crucifixion, but then to remove Jeshua from the cross before He had died. Was it possible? I feel that yes, it was.

This was a wild revelation for me, and being so swept up in my own grief, desperation, survival, etc., I had only seen things from my own point of view.  I am leaning more now towards believing that that there is more to this tale than I have remembered.

I know that ultimately, there is a time when I am rescued and returned to the Loving care of the Merovingians in France, and I feel that I am at the point right before that moment of Grace~~
may it be so.


*:) ☮♥✿ @-`-,`--

‪#‎SeeYouInNewEden‬ ‪#‎ILoveYou‬

The Villain in Manilla -- Pure Hatred

After a pretty glorious and exciting morning, I prepared for my second healing. In all honesty, I had been putting this woman off for as long as I could... I had a lot of resistance about working on her. Of course, I could have told her, 'no,' but that didn't feel like the right thing to do. As our time drew nearer, I was feeling quite sick, and very low. I seriously did. not. want. to. do. it... AT. ALL.

I thought of cancelling.  I thought of rescheduling... Spirit told me to give myself some time to collect myself before calling.  I could just make the call, when I was ready, and decide what to do from there.

I was nearly crying by the time that I called.  I felt AWFUL. When I say that I felt AWFUL,  I can not really overstate it.  I have been doing this a long time now, and I have felt a lot of unpleasant things in my day... I have felt outright evil in many forms, but I am telling you that NOTHING-- N O T H I N G ! I've ever felt remotely compared to this.

I knew that what I was feeling was not me~ that it was her~ and I had to fight the urge to just drop the phone and head for the hills!!

This was the worst energy that I've ever encountered. How was this woman alive??  How was she even Living???

Surprisingly, the voice on the other end of the phone was very calm, and sweet. I knew nothing to say other than the Truth. I said, "I did not want to call you... This is very hard for me... " She said that it was hard for her too, and she started crying.  She said that she had known for a long time that she needed help, and she had seen people on the internet, but who to trust? Who could really help her??  She said that she also knew that I had been putting her off.  We had our cards on the table.  That was a good start.

It was clear to me that she had been strangled, as I could feel it in my throat~ and while that was terrible, that was the least of her problem!  The real problem was this ENERGY that was ALL OVER HER. It was so bitter, that my mouth was full of the most heinous taste.  I told her as much.

The short version is that the energy was HATRED.  I am talking the deepest, purest, all-pervasive, infinite hatred.  Her ex-husband HATED her.  When I say that he hated her, I mean that there was nothing else left in him.  I mean that he was a vehicle of PURE HATRED.

It was the most awful, disgusting, nightmarish feeling, and there is no way to communicate this feeling to you, and that is a very. good. thing, as no one deserved to feel this way.

He hated her, but not just her.  He hated his two wives before her and his wife since.  He hated all women.  He HATED.  That was all that he did, around the clock, all the time. It had been many YEARS that she had been together with him and he still was hating her that much!  The man was a complete monster.

I did not know that there was ever such a being. And the time that I spent in his energy was the longest of my Life. They showed me that his father had hated women too, and taught it to his son. They showed me that hatred towards women was something that was taught~ as all hatred is.

I could see that he was in Manilla, and that he was the Center-point, anchoring hatred towards women on the earth, and that the energy had been rooted there in the earth in a large circle around him and that it shot up, all the way to the earth's axis. When we cleared it, and it left him, that it would leave ALL.

And so we did.  It was a far slower-moving process than I would have wished, and I could even smell sulfur as it cleared!! Absolutely gruesome.  Honestly, I am feeling pretty traumatized by the whole thing.

I hope that I never Live to experience anything remotely like it again, nor does anyone else. ♥

A Smart Man Knows the Golden Rule:  happy wife, happy Life. ♥ ♥

It wasn't until hours later that I realized that yesterday, I had gotten to spend 45 minutes in the New World... in complete perfection. And today, I spent 45 minutes in perhaps the last rung of hell. A total nightmare. Perhaps that was the price that I paid for getting to be in New Eden before the official 'opening bell,' so to speak...

I have had this experience before~ I have been visited by Christ twice, and in short order after our visitations, I had to defeat the devil twice. Probably the very reason that He doesn't visit me that often. ♥

Taking that into consideration, it appears that even though the Masculine & Feminine have been balanced, that Duality itself still exists.  I am contemplating this, open to whatever the next step is that Great Spirit places in my Path. 

Namaste' ~ Aloha ~ Shalom ~ Mitakuye Oyasin ~ One Tribe ~ We Are The Tribe of Many Colors ~ Peace ~ Love ~ Harmony ~ See You In New Eden :)

I Love You! ♥

RECLAIMING EARTH/MAKING WAVES~~

I am grieving how painfully S L O W the process of Human Evolution is.  I am grieving what we could have been... should have been.  I am grieving for all of the victims of rape, victims of violence, and for those who grieve and hurt for them.

I am your Mother~ All of You.  I am the Queen of each and every Heart.  I know you, I have prayed for you, I have devoted my Life to you and sacrificed my desires and needs for YOU.  I have been patient, forgiving and merciful where you are concerned, and believed the very best of you and seen the very best in you.  And yet, there are limits!

Should all of Humanity perish because of your evil ways?  You don't care who suffers at your expense, at your hand, but make no mistake-- I DO!

I am grieving that on this side of December 21st 2012, your Hearts are still closed and cold!  People are being treated like garbage!!  I am grieving that the young people are still being taught wrong.  I am grieving the death of innocence.  I am grieving the death of decency.  I am grieving the death of basic human right to safety~ basic human right to Live, to eat, to be sheltered!!

I am grieving, because many Lives will be lost because of your refusal to heal your Hearts, open your eyes, your refusal to Love, your refusal to drop your pride, your refusal to elevate.

Don't misunderstand me, I know WHY you do what you.  I understand HOW Humanity got to this point, I have compassion for all of the wounded ones who wound... but Why you do harm matters no more, as Humanity can no longer take the burden for your wounds or pay the price because you won't be healed!!

Hear me now!!  Rapists, Pedophiles, Kidnappers, Molesters, Murderers, Torturers, Death Merchants, Human Traffickers, Serial Killers... I will not tolerate your transgressions much longer.  Find Peace, Love and Honoring... or you'll be here no more!! ☮

Essentially, the Earth is a Feminine place.  We don't call her 'Mother Earth' by accident.

The Feminine decides what happens here.  And She, We, have patiently endured, and ultimately allowed, all that has ever happened here, because of Human Free Will.  That will not be the case anymore.

i hear a Cosmic Alarm Clock sounding.  Humans, your evolution is too slow, and your crime against The Feminine are too painful and damaging.  Peace will reign and Love shall Rule, and whatever price need be paid for this to occur will be paid! ☮♥

You, Men who don't know how to Love, men who don't know how to really make Love to a woman, men who don't know how to be a father, men who don't know how to be loyal, men who have no sexual impulse control, men who abandon their children, men who don't know how to be an asset to young people, men who steal the innocence of the children of earth, men who profit from death, fear, pervesion... Men who Live only for their own ambitions, for money, power, and their own gratification~~ if you only knew how much you destroy the very fabric of Life itself and society... !

I DO!  Do you not realize that you are here by my Grace?  By the Grace of the Mother? By the Grace of The Feminine??

No More!

It's time that you were held accountable and your reign of terror comes to an end.  Love is the Law. 

Find your strength to Love within, and you are welcome to join the party.  If you don't, Mama Earth will swallow you up and not a tear will be shed for you!

The Feminine and Mother Earth and purifying the Earth now. 

Only those who Live in their Hearts will survive.

Amen, Ashe' and Aho

Mother & Child

Lucy Schwartz - Gravity [Official Music Video]




Tonight I discovered Lucy Schwartz.  I couldn't help but notice how much we dance alike.  I always look to see how free people are by watching their movements, how much they ~Flow~ it tells me a lot about how much convention, inhibitions and how many "shoulds" they have shaken off.  :)  I wish I could say that I sing and play piano like her, but I can't.  Not to discredit my own singing voice, which has moments of brilliance. 

Watching the movie Mother & Child (mostly watching, but some parts I admit were hitting too close to home, so I'd open up another window and check my email, FB or FaceBook page intermittently) I was struck by the theme song and had to see who sang it~ her voice was familiar with a Zoe Deschanel/Imogen Heap haunting, yet uplifting quality, turned out to be Lucy.  Funny, because I recently met the most Lovely man who shares the same last name-- I always notice those synchronicities.

I cried on and off, throughout Mother & Child, there have only been a few times (maybe four) in my Life that I was so moved by a film... or that a film felt SO PERSONAL to me. Like someone stole my intellectual property-- wrote my movie before I had a chance to. This was one of those times.

The last time I was this moved by a picture, was when I watched Under The Tuscan Sun.  For reasons unbeknownst to me, I cried the e n t i r e length of the movie, from credits to credits. All I know for sure is that there was a Heart opening happening for me, about giving up our designs for what Life is "supposed to" look like and about finding happiness when Love doesn't go how it should, not even for an attractive, eligible, wonderful woman. The other one that really stands out is when I saw AWAKENINGS.   I don't fully understand that either, but I was devastated by it.  Yes, the story is a devastating story, but it felt like it had to do with me on multiple levels. Yes, I had Encephalitis as a child, so perhaps I was watching a fate that I had narrowly escaped. But there was also this resonance, with the patients, of feeling trapped inside, not being able to free oneself, and not being seen, heard or understood by all those around, that cut me to the quick.


Mother & Child snuck up on me in the same way. Firstly, because I didn't expect it to be so GOOD. I didn't think the writing or acting would be so good and believable, which is necessary to have this amount of impact. If it was so good, why hadn't I heard anything about it?  Usually people tell me "You need to see this. You should see this." Nope, not a hint.

Secondly, I didn't think the movie would mirror my own Life so much!  The main character, Karen (played by Annette Bening) even looks like she could be a blood relative~ sister or even Mother~ and I have always compared my beauty to hers. When contemplating whether I felt beautiful or not, I would think, 'I have Annette Bening type of beauty.' Yes, Annette, my hazel-eyed sister and I share smallish features, petite nose, chestnut hair, similar worry-lines and the ability to emit tremendous light from our countenances in a moment of open-Heartedness.

In the movie, she plays a woman who has given up a baby girl for adoption and the tender age of 14, and gets emotionally stuck in that moment... unable to forgive herself or move on. She is bitter, unhappy, closed off and finds herself working in a healing industry and caring for her aging Mother. She continually wonders about the fate of the daughter whom she never met.

Both my sister and I were given up for adoption. Strange, but it did not occur to me until I was 31 that perhaps part of the reason that my Lovelife has been a disaster, was in part due to the fact that my Birth Mother's (who I don't know) was as well.

In the movie, Karen's daughter, Elizabeth (my birth name) isn't capable of forming attachments and moves from place to place and man to man. Not exactly my story, but similar enough to make me sit up and take notice. I married young (22) and overnight by dream romance turned into a hellish nightmare that I stuck out for 3 1/2 years. I left and he died of a massive, fatal Heart Attack before we could be divorced. Since then, I have not formed serious attachments and moved about 45 times in the last 15 years.

So, the question that kept arising as I watched this film was, "How do broken people become unbroken?" In a larger sense, I've devoted my entire Life to asking, and in part, answering that very question.

For those of you who will see the film, who haven't seen it yet, I don't want to reveal too much of the plot.  I will say that we get to witness the convergence of events that lead to Karen's (Annette Bening) redemption, forgiveness, healing and Heart opening.  Watching the pieces of the puzzle, the timing of these events is to me, watching God.  Watching how God can work miracles in our Lives, when we are willing to just open up a bit & let go in those moments when magical convergence is happening... how quickly and monumentally Life can change.

I have seen it happen enough to know what it looks like.  I've experienced it myself enough to KNOW it to be True.  May all the broken Hearts out there find their day of reckoning, sooner than later.


 Little One (sung by Lucy Schwartz)